Simply Punjabi
A monthly magazine by India Today
How liberated are you?
Neelam Man Singh Chowdhry, 57, Chandigarh
Theatre artist, teacher and founder of the theatre group, The Company
Q. You have a couple of controversial opinions, would you share those when asked, or speak out anyway?
A. Whatever I say may seem like I’m being controversial, but it’s not to me—it’s just the way I think. In art we are trying to run away from that rubber stamp way of thinking. My thinking may not be typical of most women’s thinking but I would speak out anyway.
Q. Would you ever go to the movies alone?
A. I do when I travel to Western countries or when a film festival is on. But I haven’t been to a commercial theatre house alone.
Q. Would you ever eat alone at restaurants?
A. When I go outside for work I eat alone at the hotel or at an eatery, but I must say that I don’t feel comfortable; I feel I need to have a crutch, like a book or something.
Q. Would you ever have activities and hobbies you do alone?
A. I like cooking, writing, going for walks alone and going to the gym. Theatre is an all-consuming people-orientated profession, so it is important to have a little respite from all that and do something in isolation.
Irina Brar, 25, Chandigarh
India’s top professional female golfer, currently studying clinical and sport psychology in the US
Q. What is the most obvious way in which your life has changed from your mother’s?
A. My mother was the table tennis state champion for Punjab and Haryana, but was not able to compete internationally the way I was able to in golf. I was encouraged to pursue my postgraduate studies in the US—which is something my mother would have wanted to do, but didn’t have the opportunity to. My mother would have wanted a career, but got married and had me. I will continue to actively pursue a career as a sport psychologist even after I get married.
Q. Would you ever go to the movies alone?
A. I have seen many movies on my own. It’s cool.
Q. Would you ever eat alone at restaurants?
A. As a travelling pro golfer, I have to enjoy my own company. I have played many events where I didn’t know anyone, or have been in countries where I didn’t know the language. I have travelled alone, stayed on my own, and entertained myself.
Q. Would you ever have activities and hobbies you do alone?
A. I love to practice and play golf on my own, go for a walk with my iPod, cook, and just snuggle up with a good book. Time just flies when I’m in a bookstore with a cup of good coffee.
Namita Singh, 60, architect
Leading architect for 30 years; recently designed Asia’s largest Naval Academy in Kerala.
Q. Do you think it’s better to choose one’s own partner in life? Or that marriage is a serious affair and family should have the last word?
A. I firmly believe that one should choose one’s own lifepartner. In both cases, a lot of effort and understanding is required by both partners to make the marriage work, but in case of an arranged marriage the woman generally starts with a disadvantage—at a lower footing in what is supposed to be an equal partnership. Whereas if both know and understand each other before they get married, they start on a friendly footing and can work together to make their marriage happy.
Q. Would you ever go to the movies alone?
A. Yes, if I don’t find any company for a movie I want to see.
Q. Would you ever eat alone at restaurants?
A. I eat alone in restaurant when I am travelling on my own.
Q. Would you ever have activities and hobbies you do alone?
A. I go up to my house in Kasauli alone—watching the sunset, enjoying my drink and reading by the fire place.
Sukhi Turner, 56, Wanaka, New Zealand
Was mayor of Dunedin, NZ, for nine years, now runs a bed & breakfast place and hosts tours. She is married to Kiwi cricket legend Glenn Turner
Q. Do you think it’s better to choose one’s own partner in life? Or that marriage is a serious affair and family should have the last word?
A. I felt that I should be allowed to choose my own life partner, though it was important to get acceptance from my parents. I would have hated to have alienated them and not had contact with them. I think, for some people, having a partner chosen for them seems equally valid. In India, it now happens with consultation with the youngsters. This is a healthy trend.
Q. Would you ever go to the movies alone?
A. Yes, but it is always more enjoyable with my husband, my children or my friends. It’s great to discuss it with someone afterwards.
Q. Would you ever eat alone at restaurants?
A. Yes, I have done that on overseas business trips and even in New Zealand, but it is not my preference. Eating is such a social activity.
Q. Would you ever have activities and hobbies you do alone?
A. I have taken up golf recently, so I go to the golf club and practice alone.
Neel Kamal Puri, 53, Chandigarh
Author of The Patiala Quartet, columnist and English lecturer at the Government College for Girls
Q. What is the most obvious way in which your life has changed from your mother’s?
A. The fact that I have a profession and bring home a salary is the most obvious difference but the spin-offs are many, overt and covert. It gives me that space to break as many stereotypes as I might have the courage to. It has given me the confidence to set different parameters for my personal relationships— not to be a daughter who needs a dowry but a daughter who can be a support, for instance. When I put this across my mother, she laughingly said that she could point out a number of things that are the same—a caution that could also be the antidote to a selfcongratulatory smugness.
Q. Would you ever go to the movies alone?
A. Yes, if I want to see a movie badly enough and there are no other takers.
Q. Would you ever eat alone at restaurants
A. I’m not a foodie and would not follow an irrepressible urge to venture into some exotic restaurant, but when the need arises, I have eaten alone.
Q. Would you ever have activities and hobbies you do alone?
A. Plenty. Gymming, shopping, seeing a play, attending a lecture etc.